Let’s talk about the sales process!
I have a very good analogy.
Selling your home is like going through pregnancy, labour and I am your midwife.
The pregnancy and big reveal:
There is the good news that you are finally going to be move house.
I am going to help you navigate through the unchartered waters especially if you are a first time seller and it is going to be fun.
We keep it quiet while we wait for the contract and get the photos.
We call you both in to go through the photos of your home and ohhhh and ahhhhh of his beautiful it looks
You then announce it to your family.
There is excitement and the big reveal on the internet and admiration of your for sale sign.
The interest is growing
Your life is about to change and you start to open home proof your house.
People are all commenting that your home was in the paper and assure you it will sell quickly and be pain free.
The first open house you prepare with fresh flowers, soft music and freshly baked cookies.
By week six you barely want to get out of your pyjamas, let alone want anymore buyers trudging through the house commenting on whether they can see themselves owning it or not.
Your sick of yourself. Your sick of people asking whether you have sold or not.
A buyer is found.
You have your expected due date.
The contracts should exchange in two weeks.
You basically pack your overnight bag and head to the birthing centre.
We are so close.
The pest and building reports are done.
The contracts are waiting for ink
The finance has been lodged,.
And the buyer sees their solicitor.
Advises the buyer to get a building certificate; which means there has to be a survey and a council inspector come through before we can exchange.
It means the process is delayed again and the pain starts to kick in.
You start screaming at me.
You cant take it anymore, you are never selling again, take the for sale sign down.
You are done.
This is when I grab you gently by your shoulders and say “STOP IT”
If you don’t start breathing I will slap you.
You have to wait 7 days more and you will have your beautiful sold sign and your champagne hamper in your arms.
You are writhing in anticipation and you are catastrophising that everything will go wrong and you will never have a sold.
You are no longer talking to me or your solicitor.
Your sick of the delay and just when you are ready to burn the place down the contracts exchange.
You cry tears of joy and we hug in relief.
Over champagne you will tell me that I have been so patient with you through the process and you will tell all your friends how great I am.
The sold sign pink and gorgeous.
I leave you to share the special moment with your family and head home.
Knowing that in five years time the pain will be a distant memory and you will do it all again.
I smile and wait until we do it all again