Selling real estate is not about swanning around in designer sunglasses in a European made car drinking coffee. But I did just describe myself…..
I just had a heart dropping realisation.
I am a “cliche”
A walking symbol of the typical agent.
I should be in a sharp fitted suit, with great high heels and a mobile phone glued to my ear looking busy.
Except I am a little bit fat. I won’t share my BMI but I think it could be actually in the obese class.
I think I am a little under height and I have a heavy skeleton.(I don’t think there is such a thing but run with it)
And I don’t love exercise. Though I wish I did.
I wish I loved it like I love gin and tonic.
I like flat shoes because heels makes my back hurt.
I like clothes that breathe.
Ok that let me breathe.
I like something that stretches so I don’t tear the back end out of my skirt trying to heave my body mass into the token Range Rover.
The other day on greeting a new client I shook his hand, it was an awkward, mistimed, half closed finger grabbing exercise that left us both feeling slightly disappointed.
I stop immediately and say “wow that was a really bad handshake, it was really awkward, let’s do it again”
Immediately he laughed and then we took another crack at it.
Then discussed the worst hand shake styles describing the “bust your knuckle style”, “the limp clammy finger hold” and “the stiff style”where they don’t clutch your hand back and you feel cheated. Like you were more into it than they were.
I like people.
Not the “real estate is about people not houses” slogan.
I actually like humans and their stories.
The great people that want to have you appraise their homes ( tell them how much it is worth) and want to have a cup of tea and know all about you and your family. Share their story over fresh scones and hug you goodbye.
The ones that don’t actually let you sit down in case they can never get you to leave. They are scared your going to start drawing graphs and they are going to be sold into time share.
The ones that stare at me across the dining table giving me nothing.
I know they made a pact before I arrived not to fall for probing questions. Terrified that if they open their mouth they will yell out ” We want $400,000 for our house” and even if I thought it was worth $450,000 I will immediately sell their home to my cousin for $400,000 and start packing their property into a shopping trolley and making them a homeless sign.
Then there are the ones that are not going to be hood winked by a slick agent.
They have a game plan.
They will influence me. They will have me pinned down on the floor agreeing to work for nothing and get them $100,000 more than the house is worth.
They will tell me what their friends think it’s worth.
They will tell me how much it would cost to replace it in today’s market.
That they don’t build house with arches anymore. That its solid brick.
That it has a hose link reel……. You get the picture I am painting?
I really like all people. Even the grumpy ones.
It’s a big deal having someone you don’t know come into your inner sanctum.
Your pride and joy.
The place you live in privacy.
Not only do you invite me in.
You ask me to judge it.
Tell you what you should do to improve it to go to market.
And then have me compare other homes in your suburb and say how your neighbours home is bigger and better and yours isn’t worth as much.
Having an agent in, can feel like inviting a stranger to tell you that your kid is ugly.
It can be traumatic.
I will be gentle.
But I will be honest.
We can arm wrestle if you want.
But I prefer cup of tea.
White and one
Chris Ewin xxx